Funny expressions

[TOASTED]

any one got any funny expressions? mods if you u wanna delete this thread feel free i think it may serve some ammusemnet tho.

I heard a good one last night:
As useless as a fish on a bicycle.

One i heard a few years back:
dissapeared like a fart in a fan factory

One from my old boss:
Crouched over like a dog rewting a tennis ball.

[DEVL-XR]

Marilyn Manson lyric - Survive Abortion

I heard of a good one the other day buy I can't remember it now!

[Dezza]

One I always use:
"As subtle as an elephant falling out of a tree"

When leaving somewhere, a good one to use is
"Off like a bride's nightie"

[TOASTED]

that reminds me of one, when being the designated driver and leaving the premises i alway say: well im gonna be like a shephard and get the FLOCk out of here.

Be like a tree and leave.

Ive been called a wombat before reason is cos a wombat "eats roots and leaves"

[Rob]

dezza has a face like a smashed crab :

[TOASTED]

LOL that reminds me, one of my all time favourites:

She has a face like a half eaten pastie.

[TOASTED]

shes nice from a far but far from nice

[TOASTED]

when your with a mate and u see two shielas, one of which is good looking, the other not, i always make the comment "gees i dont know about yours but mines alright"

this one is a bit rude so MN feel free to edit,

When you see a not so good looking shiela walking a dog a suitable comment is "whos walking who?"

[Sorted]

LOL two sheilas

Are you a country folk Craig?

[EF Hoon]

Originally Posted by craigosmoddedEF

shes nice from a far but far from nice

no its.."good from far..but far from good"

[TOASTED]

yes i am a redneck hillbilly country folk rosco

[TOASTED]

wats so funny bout that rosco?
lol that wasnt meant to be the funny bit. :

[Dezza]

Originally Posted by Rob

dezza has a face like a smashed crab :

:( shattered

[TOASTED]

yea well robs got a face like a half chewed minty.

[montyLalor]

craigosmoddedEF it's good to see you're getting such good value out of a thread that you have started yourself!

If someone states the obvious, I'll come out with:
"Does a duck with an erection drag weed?"

[Rob]

Originally Posted by Dezza!

:( shattered

I'll send ya some E-lovin on facebook

[Dezza]

lol. I'll pass

[1FLYRYD]

i have a couple that are kinda rude so i'll leave the appropriate spaces blank you guys can fill them in using your own imagination

when i leave some i'll say

i'm gunna make like a horses _ _ _ _ and hit the road

i'm gunna make like a _ _ _ _ and head

or if something is goin ape sh!t you can say "goin off like 2 frogs in a sock"

if someone is ugly

he/she is as ugly as a hat full of a$$holes, he/she has a face of on'em like a busted a$$

i understand if this post gets edited or deleted lol

[MotherNature]

A lot of these are borderline for a family forum but I do appreciate you all trying to keep them clean.

Lets say the line has been drawn & dont go over it.

[vztrt]

As welcome as a fart in an elivator.

As useful as a condom machine in the vatican.

Old but good.

[Tanksenda]

As ugly as a box of frog's.

You smell worse than a Gorlilla's armpit.

Geez your ugly......must have fallen out of an ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

[DBourne]

Originally Posted by montyLalor

craigosmoddedEF it's good to see you're getting such good value out of a thread that you have started yourself!

exactly what i was thinking!!!!

when you want to leave (i mix these up)

- make like a baby and head out
- make like bread and roll
- make like tom and cruise

[TOASTED]

catch ya round like a fruit loop.

ive been busier than a brick layer in baghdad

[1FLYRYD]

if im hungry

"i'm so hungry i could eat the crouch out of a low flying duck"

[Jason[98.EL]]

like a rat out of a drain pipe

have more but they will breach the family side of what we are about

[Powdered Toast Man]

She's a butter face. Great body, but her face!

[Alby1]

As busy as centerpede skipping.... Always made me laugh

[naughtyfalcon]

nice legs,shame about the face.
i may be fat but your ugly,i can go on a diet.
bugger.
shite happens.
the shite will hit the fan
the shite hit the fan.
the shite has hit the fan
that was loud enough to wake the dead

[TOASTED]

we got an ad up here that cracks me up, a bloke goes, "im so hungry i could eat a horse... and chase the jockey" lol

[1FLYRYD]

it's as dry as a nuns nasty, as sober as a priest on sunday (alltho depending on who 's you talk to that could also mean drunk lol) she has a head on her like a robbers dog.