[wicksy]

good to hear people opening up about depression/aniexty, I'll explain my story.

So the last year i guess i havent been feeling too great, waking up thinking why did i wake up, wonder what **** today will bring, why do i bother trying and everything in between, it kept going on for a while on and off but i didnt think much about it. My wife suffered depression when she was younger and she picked up on it and all sat me down explained everything i was doing and told me to do some research, i shrugged it off as a male normally does, then i sat outside watering the lawn and thought bugger it i will do some reseach.

So after an hour of looking online and thinking wow i do have something wrong me i went and told my wife, she knew something was up but wanted me to see if i would pick up on it, she stepped in and told me when she thought nope he doesnt realise.

I have been talking to heaps of people who are in the same boat as me, it feels good to talk to people it helps out alot, im just taking it one day at a time, yeah i have bad days and good days, just recently i have was having more good days which was awesome i felt on top of the world for a change, smile ear to ear watching my son ride his new ktm i bought him. It was all looking up until Friday arvo, got a call to say one of good mates had committed suicide.

Well that threw a spanner in the works didnt it, i was back to square one again back to the thinking of negative crap, plus i have had massive issues with the In laws which hasnt helped at all, so now i am meant to be sleeping for work but i am not in the right state of mind to even think about operating a dump truck carrying 200t of dirt, work understand which is great i have a good network of friends i constantly talk to and aswell as people i barely now i have been talking too.

Sorry if it doesnt make sense, i am trying to hold back tears as i type this.