The 2099 Bathurst Amazon 1000

CoupeKing · 22-11-2017, 04:05 PM

Footage filmed from our own Tesla helicopter:

- No meat, campfires or camping chairs allowed - we either stand as-one holding hands or crouch and hug each other.

- There are three allocated Unisex toilet blocks for all 183 genders.

- Entry is free! But if you or any member of your family (including the last four generations) was either a butcher, truck driver, motor mechanic, competent teacher, farmer, police officer or a member of the armed forces, you will be denied entry and spat-on while you exit the vicinity. Exit fee is 10,000 euro. You will be later charged an additional 10,000 euro for paying the exit fee.

- If you celebrate fathers day or mothers day, you will be fined 17,000 euro and forced to leave. You will also be denied any future medical treatment, unless it's for a gender-change or abortion of course.

- Justin Bieber the third will be singing the national anthem in reverse. Anybody caught NOT kneeling will be fined 7,000 euro and asked to leave - there is hope for you yet!

- If any racing driver makes contact with a kangaroo that jumps onto the track, the individual and racing team will be banned from competion for life and fined forty million euro. (event date has been changed to coincide with the peak of the local kangaroo-breeding season).

- No parking.

- Crayon area's, hugging sessions and puppy and kitten-patting classes will be provided in case one should get triggered from the racing car paint-schemes, as one could deem them as racist.

- If a bomb goes off, it's ok.

- Any mention of Christmas will result in public execution. Public executions will take-place when a safety car (solar-powered moped) is required. If the race should be cancelled or no safety car needed, the accused will be fined 85,000 euro and then publicly executed.

- To all the drivers, there will be no losers. All 60 will be called onto the podium and each presented with the first place trophy and declared as the winner of the 2099 Amazon 1000.

- If any individual feels that they were insulted in any form at the venue, the said person will receive a life pension and the perpetrator will have HIS internet privileges permanently withdrawn and fined 65,000 euro.

- Free counseling is provided in case a person witnesses the unthinkable - somebody trodding on an ant - we're still working on what would be the most effective therapy method if an individual sees a spider.

- Track temperature is predicted to be 22 degrees.