30 things to do in an exam that you know your going to fail anyway

RUQ1KA · 10-11-2006, 01:48 PM

Hey, i stumbled across this on another forum, people from the old site may remember it, but i thought since it is/was exam time now someone might want some ideas:P

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got
the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud,
debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell
out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start
talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to
answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this
question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be
creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a
sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to
leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very
small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry
Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam.
Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your
head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Turet's Syndrome during the exam.
Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking.
Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another
seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out,
start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently,
scream out "**** this!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the
instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving
after one hour to go drink.)

15. Show up completlely drunk (completely drunk means at some point
during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put
on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the
opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciencs related, make up the longest proofs
you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most
equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your
life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to
you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks,
chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2
rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if
necessary.

24. Masturbate.

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it,
loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this.
've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal?
And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one,
make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and
answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks
why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that
goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper.
DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy.
Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally
get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme
to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any
question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

i know i was going to attempt number 21 in one of my exams, but completly forgot about it come exam time last year

anyway enjoy:P

gozza · 10-11-2006, 01:51 PM

8. Come down with a BAD case of Turet's Syndrome during the exam.
Be as vulgar as possible.

When sitting in assembles i got the urge to stand up and call the prinicple somthing vulgar....i never did tho

Kenster · 10-11-2006, 01:58 PM

love to see a female class mate do number 24 hahaha free peer show

dansedgli · 10-11-2006, 02:04 PM

You're a weirdo Kenter. A perverted one at that. Nearly every post by you is about woman!

Kenster · 10-11-2006, 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dansedgli

You're a weirdo Kenter. A perverted one at that. Nearly every post by you is about woman!

: should i add that im superisely got alot of female friends :the_finge

Dave_au · 10-11-2006, 02:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kenter

: should i add that im superisely got alot of female friends :the_finge

Gay men usually do. :P

ten[A]cio[U]s · 10-11-2006, 02:16 PM

Hahaha i have an unpassable exam coming up.. you haven given me some ideas hahaha. lol they were heaps funny!

Kenster · 10-11-2006, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dave_au

Gay men usually do. :P

harsh but im straight hahaha

Dave_au · 10-11-2006, 02:21 PM

Just a

: for the stud

Tiga_EL · 10-11-2006, 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mad_ed_wagon

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

GOLD

: !!!!!

GXL078 · 10-11-2006, 02:37 PM

How about:
31. Just do the exam and leave and pass and get a job where you can sit at a computer all day pretending you are working while you are really posting messages on Mazda and Ford forums and browsing E BAY etc.

gozza · 10-11-2006, 02:39 PM

heheh ....yeah

Tiga_EL · 10-11-2006, 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xcgxl

How about:
31. Just do the exam and leave and pass and get a job where you can sit at a computer all day pretending you are working while you are really posting messages on Mazda and Ford forums and browsing E BAY etc.

um "30 things to do in an exam that you know your going to fail anyway" How can you pass it if you know your going to fail lol. If you went in there thinkin bout passing, then you wouldn attempt these things, as they would be suitable for someone who knows theyre going to fail... AHh im confusing myself.

GXL078 · 10-11-2006, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiga_EL

um "30 things to do in an exam that you know your going to fail anyway" How can you pass it if you know your going to fail lol. If you went in there thinkin bout passing, then you wouldn attempt these things, as they would be suitable for someone who knows theyre going to fail... AHh im confusing myself.

You have a "misadventue" and they give you an estimate. That's how it works with the HSC.

billyb35 · 10-11-2006, 04:12 PM

Once you sit down and start writing it's all over. It's you and the exam, so there's no need to be nervous then. The only thing between you and leaving is about 1.5 hours of writing so you may as well make the most of it.

University lecturers are lazy. Get the 2003, 2004 and 2005 exam and it's answers and learn how to do the questions. In those 3 years that course has been run 6 times...There's only so many ways to ask the same question

If it's a law exam, I'll give you my notes.

S3SR · 10-11-2006, 07:43 PM

sorry but if it were my exam id smash the table and chair over your head! jokes :thebirds:

GCFordChic · 10-11-2006, 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by billyb35

University lecturers are lazy. Get the 2003, 2004 and 2005 exam and it's answers and learn how to do the questions. In those 3 years that course has been run 6 times...There's only so many ways to ask the same question

If it's a law exam, I'll give you my notes.

Too true!! And they make it so easy to get hold of them, you download them from the internet at my Uni.

So are you a good note taker?
Which subjects...

:

Sloth · 10-11-2006, 08:14 PM

We used to write smart answers for the questions we didnt know. Like "How the **** should I know?", "I don't know, you tell me", and "Screw this".
Also its fun to deface all the pictures and diagrams.

mcflux · 10-11-2006, 09:07 PM

A mate of mine took a ZOO magazine and a pillow into an open book exam :P

Jock260 · 10-11-2006, 10:01 PM

i brought a gameboy into a test one day, brought head phones though, still great

Powdered Toast Man · 10-11-2006, 10:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xcgxl

How about:
31. Just do the exam and leave and pass and get a job where you can sit at a computer all day pretending you are working while you are really posting messages on Mazda and Ford forums and browsing E BAY etc.

Hey. Its sounds like you have the same job as me :evil_laug

RUQ1KA · 11-11-2006, 12:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sloth

We used to write smart answers for the questions we didnt know. Like "How the **** should I know?", "I don't know, you tell me", and "Screw this".
Also its fun to deface all the pictures and diagrams.

Haha in a math methods class in YR11, we had a test and my mate didnt get a question so he wrote "WHAT THE?!?!" as an answer, when he got it back it was counted as a correct answer and he got 1 mark for it!... what the? lol

myxr6 · 11-11-2006, 12:17 AM

Make a palm print and write "I am a fish. "

mcflux · 11-11-2006, 12:33 AM

"CHEMISTRY SUCKS" won't get me any marks for Q.10 of my chem exam...

FPV8U · 11-11-2006, 12:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FALCONSR

sorry but if it were my exam id smash the table and chair over your head! jokes :thebirds:

Was thinking that myself...funny as though mate

BOOSTDEF · 11-11-2006, 12:47 AM

write the answers to past exams or mid semester tutes/assignments and you will get enough method marks to pass :P:P Even if the questions are of no relevence, You show a "rough understanding of the course material, although not applied in the appropriate way"

Good for 45% - 55%

Works every time, even in open book.

Seriously, these days you have to TRY to fail. Unless your a total drop kick and waste of resources.

[Tonko] · 11-11-2006, 02:51 AM

HAHA like one of my year 11 exams,
we (me and a mate) went down the street during first and second, got back to school with maccas, walked up to the VCE centre having a pointless argument, yelling etc... i try to open the doors but they wouldnt open so we climbed in a back window with our lunch, and said to some kid
"whats goin on here?"
" umm maths exam"
" ***** off its not today" really loudly,
" Holy shiite we just failed year 11,"
thankfully i was in VCAL and due to just attending i passed w00t for me!