*Dave*

[Coxxxy]

Dave was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there
is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."


Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Dave, how about
Tom Cruise?"

"No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."

So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door
and Tom Cruise shouts, "Dave! What's happening? Great to see you! Come
on in for a beer!"

Although impressed, Dave's boss is still sceptical. After they leave
Cruise's house, he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing Cruise was just
lucky.

"No, no, just name anyone else," Dave says.


"President Bush," his boss quickly retorts.


"Yup," Dave say's, "Old buddies, let's fly out to Washington ."


And off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Dave on the tour and
motions him and his boss over, saying, "Dave, what a surprise, I was
just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and
let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."


Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced.
After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to
Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else.


"The Pope," his boss replies.


"Sure!" says Dave. "I've known the Pope for years." So off they fly to
Rome.


Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses at the Vatican's St.
Peter's Square when Dave says, "This will never work. I can't catch the
Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards
so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."


He disappears into the crowd headed towards the Vatican.


Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the
balcony, but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a
heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.


Making his way to his boss' side, Dave asks him, "What happened?"


His boss looks up and says, "It was the final straw ... you and the Pope
came out on to the balcony and the man next to me said, 'Who the f*@k
is that on the balcony with Dave?"