[sneaky]

a few observations now that I have told a few close people that I'm trying to sort my issues..
pro - feels like some weight has been lifted as I don't have to smile and pretend to be good all the time. I don't feel as guilty for what I see as wasting time at work, my boss is happy with my output even when working from home (I will go to the office a few times a fortnight to have face to face chat and feel less isolated)

con - my parents are probably more concerned than they need to be. I have had deeper/more acute depression in the past with the dark thoughts and plans associated with that. This time I feel like I just need to get out of a rut and I've finally decided maybe life should be more positive and enjoyable rather than just going through the motions.



as an aside, my workplace offers counselling, EAP services, mental health training and information available - all this is a phone call, email, web search away, and the info is included in everything published by the company. It is pretty in your face. For some reason I completely missed/ignored/glossed over all these options and went to the GP for a psych referral. Hoping the psych the GP pointed me to is a good fit for me, I've seen a few in the past that weren't a good match.