Originally Posted by flightstrike
I'll pitch in here as it might provide some help/advice to someone.
About seven months ago, my 25 year old sister took her own life. My father found her peacefully "asleep" in her bed, it was clear that she had simply taken something and slipped away in her sleep.
It's a very long story, and I'm still not sure I know all the facts as I moved out of home several years ago. But I know she'd been struggling in some way for a long time for various reasons, some of which I think she's taken to her grave. But the last straw seems to have been a bad run of Uni exams that basically (in her mind) was a complete show stopper after SIX years of Uni.
She'd had many low moments, but always managed to pick herself back up, only to be kicked in the guts yet again. As a family, we offered her as much support as we could when things turned ugly, but she was very stubborn and you had to be very careful as you risked your own life if you persisted to get "in her face".
I was on a deployment when I received a call from my mother saying her Uni results arrived and it wasn't good... Alarm bells immediately went off in my head as I knew this was a path back down the slippery slope. I ordered mum to give her space and she will come out of her shell ONLY when she's ready (refer to previous paragraph regarding your own safety!!!)
The best way I could support her was to simply let her know I was thinking of her and always available for a chat (unfortunately I lived interstate for the last fours years). Sometimes she'd take me up on the offer, other times she simply acknowledged it and went and hid in her room for days.
Less than a week later, I had just walked in the door from grocery shopping when I answered the call that changed my entire existence and will haunt me for the rest of my life. Within two hours I was on a flight heading home unfortunately having to overnight in Melbourne on the way as I had missed the last connecting flight by about thirty minutes.
Over the next few months I spent at home, the whole family discussed several times what they perceived to have happened and any signs they noticed. In hindsight, many of the signs they taught us to look for in high school were in fact there... But no body noticed them (or maybe didn't want to acknowledge). The most obvious one was that in the days leading up to it, she apparently appeared to be at peace with life. This is a DANGEROUS red flag, as it usually signals that they've made their decision, and they're very much at peace as they know it will all be over very soon (on their terms). She rang me (as it turns out, the night prior) and had a quick chat about nothing in particular. Had a bit of a laugh and just general banter as siblings do. Again, in hindsight, she was saying goodbye to me.
It turns out she had sorted many of her affairs and it became obvious that this wasn't a impulse decision... It was planned very carefully. I honestly believe that this was always her contingency if her Uni studies fell over. She was the most passionate person I'd ever met and I think in her mind, it was all or nothing.
The point of this story is that it's very important that you never ignore a red flag. It could be something so small and almost not worth talking about, but it may very well be a desperate cry for help. Everyone reacts differently, in my sister case, I don't believe pushing her was going to help, it woukdve only aggravated the situation. But for others, a bit of a push for help maybe what they need. You know your family and friends, you know how they react and you need to act accordingly, you may very well save their life.
If you've made it this far, thanks for taking the time to read and hopefully it wasn't a waste of space on the form.
Thanks.
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